Stroking the Ego…

When asked why she used to strive for the perfect drop back from standing to a backbend in her yoga practice, our philosophy teacher, Rose says very seriously: “Because it was exhilarating….Oh, and I used to take naked pictures of myself on the beach doing drop backs to send to my boyfriend…”

Well, at least she’s honest about it! But, putting Rose’s crazy hippie days in Goa aside, we all have a pose in our practice that we strive for and love to do. While there is nothing wrong with that, somewhere along our yoga path our ego can get too big for its boots, and that pose we so covet can land us with an injury. We forget that the physical practice (asana) is just one tool in the yoga box, and that it is in fact number three of the eight limbs of yoga. Out in front are the much overlooked ‘yamas and niyamas’ – yoga’s little moral and ethical codes. (I’ll delve into those another day!)

I’ve been practicing yoga for quite a while now and my ego and I are well acquainted. He often rears his little head to say: “Why aren’t you popping into handstands left, right and centre by now?” or “Haven’t you got that foot behind your head yet? I mean, come on!” He has even followed me to my teacher training in Bali, cropping up frequently during our two hour pranayama and meditation sessions. “Enlightened yet? Didn’t think so! You’ve fallen asleep AGAIN!”

So why are we trying to force ourselves to bend like a pretzel or perform Cirque de Soleil maneuvers? As perfectly put by Pantajali, one of yoga’s founding fathers, “Yoga is concerned with freedom of suffering.” Surely muscling our way into something our body is not ready for is going against this entirely? It is common sense, but we’ve all been there, done that – I’ve had an injury or two to prove it!

In Sanskrit, the word for ego is ‘ahamkara,’ which literally translates as the “the I maker.” It starts off fairly innocent…our ego is what helps to shape our personality and create our experiences. It is when it starts identifying desirable things and creating attachments to those desires that things start to get a little hairy! We are learning a lot about all this on our Level Two training, and it is certainly helping me to face my ego. There is a big emphasis on Yoga Therapy, pranayama and meditation and how yoga works beyond the physical level to evenly distribute our ‘prana’ (life-force) throughout our body.

We definitely won’t achieve the freedom we can get from yoga by holding our breath and forcing our already screaming hamstrings to go further! After all we want to be able to practice yoga for life and not have to stop for a hip replacement. So slow it down, listen to your body, listen to your breath. Tune into your body, and not your neighbours. Smile…enjoy…After all, it’s only yoga!