Coming full circle

5.25am. No need for an alarm clock. The morning is signaled by the sound of a raspberry being blown from Molly’s cot. A shuffle of little legs inside her sleeping bag and a string of baby babble can be heard for the next half hour as she patiently waits for her bleary eyed parents. When the light comes on at 6am, the smile and accompanying squeaks of joy are enough to start to clear the cobwebs of tiredness away. 

It has been a LONG time since I have updated my blog and boy, have things changed since my last post! Nearly six months on and I feel I am finally getting to grips with the role of being a mother. Molly is turning into a happy little lady, smiling, laughing, squealing. I won’t lie to you though, there have been many times I’ve really struggled with the challenge. I guess you are never quite prepared for how much your life turns upside down or how much your day to day existence will never just be about you anymore.

Tough old me…I mean, I’m a yogi, right? A chilled out kind of girl with the ability to take everything in her stride, one who thinks little of the past and worries rarely about the future? Hmmm, I thought that’s how I would tackle life as a new mum. But in reality, I’ll admit, I’ve cried many tears. Through joy, exhaustion, frustration, helplessness…not to mention the rollercoaster ride of hormones I felt when I stopped breastfeeding.

This week, however, I feel as though I’ve come full circle. After 9 months away from teaching, I made my way back to the mat to be faced with students who didn’t care if I had a little more junk in the trunk, or that my headstand was a little wobbly. It feels truly great to be back.

My experiences as a mother so far have made me a little more humble in my practice and have taught me the biggest lesson to date…about letting go of the ego. While my body may not feel the way it did a year ago nor is my practice quite as fluid, I am getting there…and the beauty of yoga is that it is not a forum for competition or judgment. Watching Molly grow also reminds me of that beginner mentality, where everything is shiny and new. Where nothing seems impossible…

“What a day today.There are two Suns rising!
What a day,Not like any other day.
Look!
The Light is shining in your heart,
The wheel of life has stopped.
O you who can see into your own heart,
What a day,
This is your day.”
~ Rumi