“Mummy. Your bum…” says Molly as she comes up behind me and places her hands on my hips. “It’s soooo big.” In despair, I turn to the husband. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, patting the derriere in question. “After all, you are nearly 8 months pregnant, it’s bound to be a little bigger.” Not exactly the reassurance I was looking for. Sigh. It has been one of those weeks.
Yes, it hasn’t been the most yogic of weeks. It has been a week in which Molly dropped the ‘F’ bomb. Twice. I’d like to say she learned the expletive from some unsavoury child at nursery, but instead I have to take full responsibility, having uttered it myself on at least three occasions that I can recall. Personally, I blame the raging hormones of the third trimester for making my fuse a little shorter.
This is a personal letter to my yoga practice, published in Elephant Journal, Nov ’14…Cheryl x
Dear yoga practice: I miss you.
We used to be great friends, but lately I’ve felt you slipping away.
I want to be honest and tell you that I’ve been harbouring strange feelings towards you, to the point that sometimes I can’t be bothered to work at our relationship anymore. I know this sounds harsh, so I’m reaching out to you. What can we do? We used to have a great thing going. Do you think we can get this back?
I think I’ve discovered the root of why I have been feeling like I can’t quite keep up with things these days, whether it is my yoga practice or parenting skills that come under the microscope. It’s the reason why my ego tells me I am not quite good enough, slim enough, bendy enough, strong enough…
I remember chuckling to myself a good few years back when my yoga teacher was talking about the link between yoga and our emotions. I mean, who cries on their yoga mat? Ha! Not me, I thought. I’m far too ‘together’ for that. Nope, you won’t catch me sniffling in savasana, or welling up in wheel pose…
Then during my first teacher training, it happened. There I was just chilling out in child’s pose when one of the teachers pressed down on my back. It was as though she had found the switch for my tear ducts. It took me completely by surprise…I mean, tough old me? Who would have thought!