If the mind were a theatre of the future, I’d have front row tickets. Heck, as a seasoned visitor, they’d give me the VIP box.
Forget the past, it’s the future I’m finding myself wrapped in…from the virtually decorated nursery to my baby’s first steps. I am not saying we should not feel free to dream about what lies ahead. But when it starts consume the majority of this moment, it can become a bit of a headache!
My beachball belly is now a daily reminder that I’m over 22 weeks pregnant, and that clock is ticking fast. The tick is so loud some days, I can almost feel the whoosh of the future rushing up on me before I know what has hit me. And if I could step inside the yoga confessional box, I would tell you I have been a good student, practicing like clock-work…but that only would be half the truth! I confess to being on my mat regularly in my physical body, while my mind is off doing a merry dance through a million and one future, imaginary scenarios.
You might remember from my last blog that we were in the process of selling our house. Well, crunch time came and we got a good offer, but suddenly the hubby and I realised that selling a house, buying a new one and setting ourselves up in a new place – in the space of about 6 weeks and all while I get more pregnant by the day – was a trojan task. Not to mention the huge financial burden that might be better spent on baby paraphernalia like pushchairs, nursery items and a plethora of tiny clothes! So we took it off the market and resigned ourselves to rethinking after the baby is born. In short, if I’m honest now (and according to the hubby) my pregnancy nesting hormones slightly made me ‘lose the run of myself.’ (That’s Northern Irish speak for ‘go a little crazy’).
So…back to the future…why is that especially big events in our lives make us completely lose track of the moment we are in? Whether it’s our wedding day, our baby’s birth or an illness or injury we are dealing with, we spend more time worrying about what is to come, than living the moment that we are in right now. This week in my practice, I’m trying to bring it home and I have to tell you it is really hard! But that’s what yoga is all about. Forget multitasking. Yoga encourages us to practice pratyahara – withdrawal of the senses or one pointed focus – simply connecting our movement, with the moment to moment flow of our breath. And when that crazy monkey mind is running rampant, even taming it for just a minute a day can be so therapeutic…trust me, I’m working on it! Finally, let me leave you with this little quote that just about sums it up…
“I never think of the yesterdays and I never think of the tomorrows. That leaves me just a small moment, the present moment — unburdened, uncluttered, clean, free.”